The Duty of Service: Asking for Help

I don't ask for help often. I was raised under the self-affirming, independence-invoking mantra: if you want something done, do it yourself. So I've always positioned myself to do just that—it—myself. I only committed myself to things that I could do without anyone else's help; only planning events that I had money to plan; only creating programs that I had the ability to sustain. Pursuing help for my endeavors always pained me. It felt like I was inconveniencing others with my passions.

Then I launched this holiday initiative and it all changed.

Because despite popular belief, true servitude is about doing what makes you uncomfortable to help advance the common good. To think outside yourself to provide, to love, and to support the people or cause you're advocating for. It's to be obedient to God and serve in the way He's called you to, not the way you're most comfortable doing. It's to surrender to yourself, your pride, your ego, your desires, to give back to someone else. To make some part of this world a little better. To shed a little bit of light in someone's darkness. 

I'm learning that some work is beyond your discomfort. It's not about not wanting to ask for help, but about doing what you must to leave an impact in people's lives. It's about God's assignment for your life. It cares nothing about your to-do list, your discomfort, or your nervousness. It gives zero damns about your exhaustion, laziness, or insecurity. God's assignment [servitude] needs you to show up and deliver despite your fears or self-diagnosed inadequacies. So sometimes, you will have to step outside of your comfort zone. You will have to ask strangers for funds to support your work; you will have to drive from house-to-house delivering elevator speeches; you will have to post videos and get used to public speaking; you will have to awkwardly navigate meetings and networking events; you will have to leave your couch and possibly stay up late; you will have to get your hands dirty, file paperwork, hand out some 'nos'; you will have to drop your ego; you will have to be uncomfortable. But it's not about you, it's about the cause. And as long as you stay focused on what that cause is, the load may not get any easier, but it will feel more worthwhile.

I realized that while I can do so many things myself, I don't necessarily have to. I started thinking to myself about how much greater programs, events, and volunteer opportunities could be if I actually solicit aid. I thought about how much more meaningful things can be if I tap into my resources and connect with others who are willing to help. None of this is about me—or how many times I have to flood social media with flyers, or how many shirts I have to send out myself—it's about the work that God has assigned me to do in this world. It's about the women that need to feel cared for, loved, and unforgotten. About the women who may need inspiration during [what some may consider] the most depressing time of year. About the women who may just want a hug and a holiday cookie.

Recognizing this created a drastic shift in the way this year's initiative is being planned and supported. Individual texts, e-mails, and conversations have happened. I raised more money in one week, than I have in the last two years combined. This year will be far more impactful, not because I was afraid to ask people for help or because I was too prideful to, but because I stepped outside of myself for a moment. Because I knew, that in order to make the impact I wanted to make this year, I had to do the things I've always been too fearful (prideful, worried, insecure) to do. 

Serving won't always be your favorite thing. It'll seldom meet you where you're most comfortable. It may not always work in your favor. And perhaps it won't even be in the way you most enjoy giving back. But the work has to get done, and luckily, you get to do it.