Here's to Transformation

Transformation is not easy. It's frightening, uncomfortable, and sometimes undesirable. "I don't wanna change!"

we yell to our innermost selves as we pretend to be content with who we are. As we convince ourselves that we don't need to change—that much. 

Lots have changed in my life within the last month despite my opposition. I've adapted and chalked it up to this being my transformational season. A season that requires more sowing than reaping. During this time, one that I've learned to accept, I've vowed to draw nearer to God. I knew doing so would be the only way to ensure I make it out with my sanity and peace intact. 

I discarded my old study notebook and started a new one. It was gray and white, adorned with a scripture on the front. One of my best girlfriends gave it to me last Christmas. I hadn't opened it until today. I needed something fresh; something dedicated strictly to this transition. I needed this notebook to be an ode to this season, with absolutely nothing from the past included.

I grabbed the new notebook and my study Bible and got back in bed. I opened the notebook to a note from my friend. A note I'd never read before, yet was still as relevant today as it was when she wrote it.

"One night God spoke to me and said 'Don't worry, she will be fine'," I read as she wrote to express her concern for my trying season of 2015. My eyes watered as I thought of how powerful those words were in the moment of which she shared them, and the moment they were read. 'She will be fine,' sounded like a proclamation. They were the words I needed to say to myself but couldn't muster up the courage to. Not then, and not now.

God was absolutely right, though. No matter how much pain I was/am experiencing or how much uncertainty filled/fills my mind, I was fine then, and I will be fine now. 

But I don't share this to convince myself; I share this to convince you. To let you know that whatever you're enduring, you will be fine. That no matter how silent it may appear, you will be okay. That you can make it through. That you will make it through. That He is watching you closer than they are—whoever they are. That He is with you. That He is carrying you through every part of this phase. That this transformation is not to defeat you, but to promote you. That this very moment is to grow you into something bigger than you could've ever anticipated. To let you know that though it hurts now, it won't always hurt. It won't always be painful. It won't always be exhausting. 

So here's to your transformation. To the cleansing of your heart from bitterness and hatred. To forgiveness. To your pursuit of peace and the bold elimination of everything that disrupts it. To self-love and the many ways you chose to display that. To purity. To the process. 

Here's to the ending of one phase and the beginning of another. To lost friendships and the new ones arising. To the death of relationships and the clarity that will come from this separation. To leaving bad jobs. To leaving dead situations. To empowering yourself out of dark closets and padded rooms. 

Here's to loud complaints turning to loud prayers. To clouded judgment becoming divine discernment. To lost hope becoming renewed faith. To isolation becoming salvation. To opposition becoming obedience. To the positive shifts in your spiritual maturity and the great things that will come from it. 

Here's to the King creating in you the spirit He needs for you to fulfill your purpose. To the ways He's choosing to stretch you. To the fire He's bringing you through. To the way He's sharpening your story. To the way He's going to use you to tell it. To the lives you will touch. To the growth you will make. To the harvest you will reap. 

Here's to all the amazing things awaiting you on the other side of this transformation. I'll meet you there.