You're Already There
I finished another chapter, closed Pages, and logged into DEARQUEENS.com. This site right here. It was time to load up the Buffer; something I hadn't done in so long. I began sifting through some timely and relevant posts I could share on my Twitter and Facebook accounts. I began looking through the posts for some great one-liners. Something that would captivate my social media audience enough to click the auto-generated link leading to a site with splashes of love and spiritual development.
Searching for one-liners turned into reading entire posts. Some 500 words, some 700. I turned off my gospel music to allow my mind to focus. I read. And read. And read some more. Minutes passed before I realized I was 13 posts in and amazed at my work. My words.
When did I learn to write like this?! This couldn't have been what I published six months ago.
No way! It didn't read this well when I fought myself to post this. I know this wasn't the piece I opted not to share on Twitter. Couldn't be!
But it was. The very posts that I was most nervous about back then, seemed like genius to me now. The words flowed. The analogies made sense. It seemed like a different writer.
That wasn't Z. And it wasn't Zoe. Who the heck penned these beautiful words and shared this beautiful lesson?
But, again, it was. It was me. With a touch of Christ. It was me who spilled those words onto this site to share with the masses. It was me who that lesson happened to. It was me who hit "publish" after struggling between "delete" and "draft". Me. And I was amazed. Because at the time of writing that, I was terrified. I thought the content was awful. I needed more practice. More time. I knew it wouldn't compare to not 'nyaan' one of the other amazing blog posts I've read from others. There were some amazing writers in this blogosphere and I wasn't one of them. Not yet.
But, I was. And looking back I see that. I get excited all over again at the journey I've tried to embark on to create in me an amazing blogger, before I realized I already was one. I already had great content to share and lessons to teach. I was already spewing realness from my fingertips. I didn't need a new journey to do that. I was already there.
You don't need a journey, either. You're already there. You've already been through enough to be able to pour into someone else's life. That's why God brought you there - to your purpose, your dream; to tap into your gifts. You already have everything you need to inspire and uplift those around you.
The fear you have is because you know your power. You know that when you hit publish, or step on that stage, you will be it. You will be out there. In the eye. Creating change in the lives of others. You're fearful because you have the power to change someone's life. You don't take that lightly. But you don't need a new journey to make that happen. You're already doing it. You're already there. And the anxiety and nervousness you're experiencing is from that overwhelming power bubbling in the pit of your stomach. It's from the responsibility you have for making someone better that's tingling in your spirit. It's the accountability you're willing to take for those God has assigned to you.
I read my posts, from beginning to end. The words flowed so beautifully. And many of them changed my life again, for the second time. Because the first time I wasn't confident enough to receive them properly. But this time, this time I know their worth. I know yours too. You're powerful beyond your own understanding. And you think you have to embark on a journey to become more - to be enough - before you fill the lives of others. But you don't. You're already ready. You're already prepared. And if you get out of your own way enough to hit "publish", record that audio, or get on that stage, you'll see that too.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”