3 Tips for Finding Your Secret Place

I'm not sure about you all, but when my mind is cluttered, my life reflects that. I can't work effectively when there are a million thoughts taking me from the tasks I should be focusing on. Being social doesn't seem so fun when my life is in disarray. And, the hours spent asleep seem much better than those spent awake. Because of this, I take time to myself frequently to clear my mind and release. I wipe my mind of all nonsense, figure out what projects are still pending (that may be stressing me out), and evaluate where in my life happiness may be lacking. 

I do all of this from the confines of a quaint little park in a neighborhood across town. 

The park offers nicely paved walkways, grassland for playing, and a river that provides the most soothing sound the city offers. While the park is obviously public space, when I'm on 'my' bench I'm the only one there. I do not see or hear anyone else around. Not the dogs chasing frisbees. Not the people fishing. Not the boats passing by. I sit in my spot and feel completely alone. Completely at peace.

This secret place is my escape from the world when my inner peace has been shattered; when the light at the end of the tunnel has diminished; and when my sanity is in struggle mode. 

We're all entitled to our secret place. In fact, life's manual should mandate the use of one. For those of you who haven't yet found one, here are three tips to finding the perfect place for you: 

Go somewhere that's easily accessible for you.

Life happens. There's no telling when you will have to rush to your place of peace and have a "come to Jesus meeting" with yourself. Your escape should be easy to get to/gain access to for those late night and early morning releases. If you prefer to go to a room in a building, be sure you either have a key to that building, or that the building is open more than it's closed. If your secret place is outdoors, be sure it's not an hour away. If gaining access to your secret place increases your chaos, that's not the right place for you. The point is to de-clutter, not re-clutter.  

Go where no one can find you — unless they absolutely need to.

It's not an escape, if the people you're escaping from can find you. It's not a secret place, if your location isn't a secret. Honestly, it's that simple. I don't want to have to shorten my release or rush to de-clutter, because a friend of mine found out where I was and is now on her way to swoop me away to a party. Half way releasing, isn't releasing at all. I'm not suggesting you go somewhere completely secluded - unless of course, that's what you want to do - but go where those you are common with, cannot interrupt your process. 

Go where you can do what you love the most.

Whether it's reading, writing, singing, dancing, running or yodeling at the top of your lungs while playing a solo game of jacks and painting your toenails, make sure the place you go to escape can accommodate the activity you use to escape; the activity you love doing the most. I read and write as a means to declutter my mind; this park can accommodate both. If your 'escape activity' is dancing, head to your favorite dance studio. If you prefer to express your emotions through art, head to an art studio. You may not need to dance or paint - you may merely want to sit in the room and cry - but at least you'll be in a place that allows a more creative release, if necessary. 

Every woman is entitled to a secret place. A place for them to go and get away from the world. A place to be lost in themselves and their lives. Wherever you decide yours to be and however you decide to find it, make it effective. Make it right for you.