I came up with a few angles for this end-of-year post. A few creative, a few not-so-much. Truth is, I haven’t been writing (publicly) as much as I used to. Part of me was worn out, the other part was focused on living in the moment and honoring my experiences. Since I started this blog I used every moment as something to share. People’s lives were changed because of it…but I also didn’t have enough time to dissect my own lessons because I was too busy flipping them into a lesson for others.

This year I stopped that. Not consciously at first; my priorities shifted when I started my certification program, so I naturally wrote less. But the more I went on, experiencing things without writing about them, the more I was able to honor what I was being taught. So this—trying to write a post about all the things that happened to me this year—seems a bit irresponsible. It feels like I’m going against what I’d committed myself to doing (or not doing) for the sake of a post. And if you know me, I don’t live like that.

So instead of harboring on 2019 and what I endured, I want to focus on the future. Here’s an ode to holding on to the good, letting go of the old, and carrying forward a better, stronger me. Feel free to create your own list and flourish for the new year.

Holding onto the good: an ode to the lessons of 2019

• you deserve to prioritize yourself—no one else can do that for you.

• self-love is the catalyst for real love

• holding on to memories of past love doesn’t have to be a bad thing of love; it is okay to embrace the memories of what was, while anticipating the goodness of what’s to come.

• a more specific, consistent prayer life

• hardship isn’t what happens to you, it’s how you choose to let it consume you

• choice: never forfeit your right to choose [yourself, prosperity, power, purpose, or anything] ever again

• the journey is more important than the destination

• don’t create a life to keep up with the Jones’; create a life so sacred that you’d rather clench it close to your chest and protect it, a life so divine that you simply want to nurture it and watch it bloom—then do exactly that: protect it, nurture it, and watch it bloom

• not everything needs a response, it’s okay to not speak unless moved to do so

• listen to your spirit, it’ll tell you everything you need to know

• listen to God, He’ll tell you everything you need to do (and if He says nothing, that means be still)

Letting go of the old: an ode to releasing the pain and healing from the hurt

• justifying toxicity—your own and others’

• stop forgiving everyone but yourself

• release your need to keep up with those around you

• stop doubting God’s power

• dismissing the grace bestowed upon my life

• judgment—i’ve felt the weight of what it can do, and that’s not a burden worth carrying

• perfectionism

• self-doubt, fear, and worry

• scarcity mindset

• the fear of letting go—letting go doesn’t mean I will forget, it means that I’m breaking the bondage it has on my life

Carrying forward: an ode to the transformation that is to continue

• allowing the people that love me to show up for me

• clearly stating my expectations, boundaries, and desires to the people I choose to love, work alongside, and interact with

• understanding the importance pace: sowing and reaping doesn’t happen in the same season—nor should it

• honoring the difference between what’s meant to be experienced and what’s meant to be shared

• a continued commitment to self-work

• honoring my vulnerabilities and embracing my journey

• I am not pursuing notoriety, influence, or popularity anymore—I am simply pursuing joy, and doing all things that contribute to that, unapologetically

*This list is not exhaustive.