DEAR QUEENS

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5 Ways to Protect Your Peace

(Originally written and published on xoNecole)

I began my journey toward finding my peace after moving out of my parents’ house about five years ago. After living in the chaos of having college and grad school roommates, then back to a house with my parents and older brother — and having to write my name on my groceries — I was ready to venture off to a new place of solitude and quiet peace. I wanted to own and enjoy this transition.  

I learned early on, that while place can affect peace, perspective is one of its largest contributors. With that revelation, I began the self-work necessary for cultivating peace. I unlearned and unpacked baggage I’d been carrying for years. I started rejecting the negative ways I associated myself in this world. I started looking at my life with a positive lens and I started becoming the love I wanted to see in the world. It took a lot of work, but I arrived. And with that, I recognized that arriving is half the battle — the other half is maintaining it. 

With all the tragedy, hate, and insecurity looming in the world, it’s critical to constantly assess and adjust our perspective, to ensure that we’re manifesting the peace we so rightly deserve. Chaos will happen, but how we respond to it is what enhances, or threatens, our peace. Below are a few practical ways to protect the peace you’ve worked hard to achieve. 

Social media cleanse

There are countless articles and Twitter threads dedicated to the ways a social media hiatus has improved the quality and peace of one’s life; I can personally attest to this. One of the most prominent disruptions of our peace is the internal conflict between what we think we want, and what we truly want. 

GG Renee said it best, “if you’re not careful to check your ego and the messages that can sneak into your head, you can get out of alignment with yourself, chasing an image or a lifestyle that’s not really you, envying opportunities that you don’t even want.” To rid ourselves of this internal battle, we must step away from the external sources, and connect back to ourselves. Taking a break from social media allows us to do that. It gives us a moment to silence society’s voice and get in tune with our own. It also allows us to take a break from the constant comparison, insecurity, and frankly, nosiness of trying to stay-in-the-know of what’s going on around us. 

Purge your home

Sometimes too much abundance can be overwhelming. To clear your mind, it’s important to clear your home. Purging, reorganizing, and removing clutter allows you to create a more functional home where everything has its place and its purpose. It also eliminates the physical chaos that often turns to mental chaos. 

Organize your closet in a way that excites you to choose an outfit. Decorate your living room in a way that affords you structure and clarity – not clutter. Create a home environment where everything in your space brings you joy – not because you have stuff, but because that stuff is meaningful, beautiful, and functional. You spend most your time at home, it ought to be a space that ushers in good vibes, happiness, and love. For help mastering your purge – because let’s be honest, letting things go can be difficult – The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up is a great place to start.  

Release toxic energies

Misery loves company, and the easiest way to disrupt your peace is to allow someone in your space whose energy, aura, or intentions, are not aligned with yours. Release people who breed negativity. Stop tending to places that cause you to revisit traumas. Let go of things that threaten your joy. And don’t feel bad about doing so; remember, when you’re at your best, you can be more present for the people, places, and things that make you happiest. Releasing energies that threaten your peace is critical to maintaining your peace. 


Find a quiet space

Sometimes noise is the culprit. When chaos erupts in your life, sometimes just the sound of something can set you off. I’ve been in mental roadblocks where just the sound of the television would send me up a wall. I’ve learned that when those moments occur, it’s my spirit’s cry for attention. Recognizing this has taught me the importance of silencing that noise and allowing myself time to think through what may be going on around me. Maybe there’s an internal dilemma that I need to think through. A thought I must get out. Or an emotional response I need to express. Regardless of what that moment may be for you, it’s hard to think through issues without the silent space required for doing so. Give yourself some time to shut down the noise, sit in silence, and reflect. 


Focus on what's important

When life gets away with you, it’s important to remember what’s most important to you. Whether it’s family, friends, a fulfilling career, or a thriving social life, re-centering yourself to what’s important will help remind you of what this entire journey is for.  Sometimes understanding that the chaos has a purpose, is enough to set your perspective back toward peace.